Climate scientists brave the Arctic circle each year, sometimes threatened by polar bears and staying alive only by pushing each other in front of the hungry beasts.
Other times, it got so cold they could barely get their mascara to stick for their camera shots. How could they even survive, right?
I am still shocked to find out what happened during the latest expedition of “scientist” and democratic strategist Lester Wacker Schmuck.
A long hard history of snowballs
Lester had always loved snowball fights as a kid, the frozen balls were especially enticing. How could you not love winter?
He grew up watching global warming ninja Al Gore, hauling in millions with his political Spanish inquisition.
Lester wasn’t making much as a paid volunteer for the local “burn the denier’s books” club so decided to become a disciple of warming and rake in some real moolah.
You should know the only real way to make it big is join progressives shaking down local businesses with global warming “truths” and Lester was a master. So good in fact, he was able to put 12 stores out of business and buy a spot on a luxury cruise to explore the arctic circle.
A rising star
We now know he spent years honing his credentials as a nerdy Earth Resilience Strategist. Then he realized making igloos and twerking on Twitter wasn’t going change the minds of skeptics, who regularly eat small children.
I believe this is where he came up with his strategy to follow most other climate scientists and make slight “adjustments”. I was surprised to learn his strategy worked so well within the ranks of such respected and noble organizations he became involved with.
- Liberals for Worshipping Climate Change
- Warmists collecting Political money
One of the greatest “adjustments” in climate change ever created
You know when you come upon a great idea? It’s better than watching reruns of Oprah. When Lester had his, it was while watching Sponge Bob. He would go back one more time to the arctic and create the greatest igloo ever created!
Imagine his surprise when he arrived and found Global Warming had beat him there. The January before had been glorious and cold but after warming hit town in July, he found only death and destruction.
Man made global warming had finally done it’s job. It looked like barren plains from the depths of hell feeling like 72º and sunny.
The IPCC, Greenpeace and the Whitehouse are desperately sending loads of funding to find out just how bad it is. Do you think they’ll find the cause?