It has been a saying long heard by nerds. Usually when asking girls out for prom, or when at a bar and ask “hey girl, you want to come my mom’s basement and play in my Tardis?” There have been others who have uttered the phrase in church and ended up cleaning dishes for three weeks (not me). It has become so immersed in our society that I’ve heard 5 year olds utter it when asked to brush their teeth.
Now, in a news scoop just released from the Society of Eternal Inmates, Globalwarmingalarm has learned a of new threat freshly manufactured. For years, the Society’s chief, “Pelican” Bob, has been studying the effects of climate change in exchange for work release. Now, instead of death row, he is getting back out teaching warming effects to schoolkids and over the last few years has come to a startling discovery.
Pelican started by questioning experts at local churches for the temperature of hell. After many long sessions attempting to get them to give up the info, he instead turned to Greenpeace. For some reason they fell all over themselves trying to help. “I don’t have the same funding as other warmist worshippers, so really appreciate Greenpeace funneling money to me”. He since proven that the debate is over on what happens to snowballs in hell.
The melting point of a snowball is approximately 32 degrees so hell only needs to have a slightly higher temp for destruction. As the earth’s temperature is continuously adjusted upward, we are now at a point where denier’s can’t deny, we won’t listen anyway.
The only way to precisely compare the melting rate between hell and the current hell on earth is to use something compareable and very scientific. Climate scientists used a Lucifer High Temperature Industrial blast furnace to represent current earth conditions and a commercial Grainger Scientemp -80 industrial freezer to represent hell.
“I really thought the snowball would last longer on earth!” exclaimed the lead “scientist”, but after running the experiment both times they are still coming to the same conclusion, that this earth shattering news may just change the world! This may just be the global warming caliphate needed to force the last few deniers on earth to participate in saving the polar bears.
Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects