In a landmark new study, researchers are finding that, despite spending most their time floating around space and the outer atmosphere, aliens are now beginning to feel the effects of the havoc man is wreaking on the planet.
This has never been an issue until about 2500 years ago when man started burning down the forests for firewood. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was no global warming. Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader gently changed the minds of the deniers and saved the empire with carbon credits.
If only Luke’s father was here… he would be pissed
The heavy concentration of CO2 is now causing hypertension in some, others like to get drunk and pretend they’re on American Idol. There is also some, who when wasted, are demanding humans comply with mass extinction in order to save the planet. They say the only thing saving the planet is their love of Justin Bieber. According to spokesalien Hillary, “You humans are lucky we are Beliebers”
For now, they are just hanging around the Jedi council demanding red meat and beer. According to the 10 year government funded study, aliens are stressed to a level not seen before, the only thing that brings relief is rewatching Al Gore’s Inconvenient Truth and laughing at it. They are working on a terminator type robot to help fight warming, but Arnold Schwarzenegger is not currently cooperating with their efforts.